Going Gray

I'm allowing my gray hair to grow in.

My first gray hairs appeared when I was only 24. They didn't start gathering in number until my mid forties. At first I ignored it, and then a number of people suggested that I was too young for gray hair and why not color it. At first I resisted, but after a while, I decided to give it a shot.

I loved the results! My brown hair was back and it felt great!  Over the years I went from reddish brown, to dark brown,  to dirty blonde (which I loved). Coloring my hair helped me look as young as I still felt. 

For almost ten years I colored my hair, and now at 55 I'm owning my gray. Dyed dark hair suddenly feels out of place with my overall skin and eyebrow color, which has been gradually growing paler. What once felt "premature" now feels right. And you know what? I still consider myself young. 

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I'm in the middle of the growing out process. This reflects my growing out of my physical youth. One year post-menopause, I'm feeling physically freer, and also more aware of my age. For a long time I became anxious when the gray started to show.  But no more. I'm not worried about my "roots"  because by this point it's obvious that it's growing out. And why worry about it anyway?

I am realizing that I cannot take my body for granted, which is an attitude I wish I had fully embraced when I was younger.  I know it's not too late. Along with letting my hair to return to its natural state,  I am working to return my body to the weight and tone it naturally wants to be at. 

 I look at this as a journey to become more authentic to myself and to the world. 

 

Connie Kottmanngray, midlife